Do We Need Couples Therapy? 7 Questions Murfreesboro Partners Should Ask
Every couple faces rough patches, but how do you know if you could truly benefit from couples therapy? If you and your partner in Murfreesboro have been struggling with your relationship, it’s wise to periodically check in on its health. Here are seven key questions to ask yourselves. Your answers can help you decide whether it’s time to seek the guidance of a couples therapist in Murfreesboro, TN to get your relationship back on track.
Are we having the same arguments over and over?
Do you find yourselves stuck in a loop, fighting about the same issues without ever resolving them? Maybe it’s money, chores, or jealousy – the topics might differ, but the pattern is the same: tempers flare, nothing gets solved, and the cycle repeats next week. Frequent, repetitive arguments are a sign that communication between you has broken down. A couples counselor can help interrupt this negative cycle by teaching new communication skills and helping you address the underlying emotions driving those recurring fights. If you’re both tired of the same old argument with no end in sight, therapy could provide a path forward.
Do we feel more like roommates than romantic partners?
It’s a common scenario: Over time, especially under the stress of busy schedules or parenting, couples can drift into a roommate dynamic. The relationship becomes all about logistics – who’s doing the grocery shopping, paying the bills, picking up the kids – with little affection or romance. Ask yourselves: When was the last time we went on a real date? Do we still kiss, hug, or say “I love you” regularly? If the spark has dimmed and you feel emotionally distant, couples therapy can help rekindle intimacy. A therapist might guide you in carving out quality time, improving emotional connection, and rediscovering activities you enjoy together so you remember what drew you to each other in the first place.
Have we lost the ability to communicate calmly and effectively?
Think about your recent conversations. Do simple discussions often turn into shouting matches or one of you shutting down? Perhaps one partner tends to avoid talking about anything serious because it “always ends in a fight.” If healthy communication has become almost impossible, it’s a strong indicator that professional help is needed. In therapy, you’ll have a neutral mediator to keep talks productive. You can learn techniques to manage anger and truly listen to each other. Restoring respectful, calm communication is usually the first step in healing a relationship – and it’s hard to do on your own when emotions run high.
Is there a lack of trust between us (or lingering resentment)?
Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship. Maybe there was a breach of trust, like infidelity or lying about finances, that you never fully healed from. Or perhaps trust eroded gradually due to broken promises or feeling like your partner isn’t there for you. Along with trust, ask if either of you is holding onto resentment. Do past hurts keep coming up in arguments because they were never resolved? If you can’t confidently say you trust each other fully right now, that’s a sign to seek help. Couples therapy provides a structured environment to talk about breaches of trust and work through forgiveness and understanding. It’s not easy to rebuild trust, but with commitment and the guidance of a therapist, it’s very much possible.
Are we going through a major life change or stressor that’s affecting our relationship?
Big life events – both positive and negative – can put strain on a couple. This could be things like having a new baby, moving to a new home in Murfreesboro, job loss or job change, health issues, blending families, or caring for an elderly parent. Even joyful events like planning a wedding or starting a business together can add stress. Ask yourselves if recent changes are making it harder to connect or causing more conflict. Sometimes couples wait until after a crisis to get help, but you can also use therapy proactively during a transition. A counselor can help you navigate the stress as a team, ensuring you support each other rather than drift apart under pressure.
Do we avoid important conversations or topics?
Think about whether there are “off-limits” topics between you – things you both tiptoe around because talking about them tends to go badly. It could be sex, money, certain family members, or even discussing the future (like marriage, kids, career moves). Avoidance might keep the peace temporarily, but it often leads to misunderstandings and unmet needs. If you don’t feel safe or comfortable bringing up certain issues with your partner, that’s a red flag. Couples therapy offers a safe space to finally address those tough topics with the help of a mediator. The therapist can ensure both of you express yourselves and are heard. No subject is too difficult to work through if you have the right support.
Are we both willing to work on improving our relationship?
This question is crucial. For couples therapy to be effective, both partners need to be open to change and committed to the process. Do you both recognize that the relationship needs work, and are you willing to put in the effort? If one person is entirely checked out – for instance, already considering divorce or unwilling to attend counseling – therapy can still help, but progress will be tougher. However, if you both still care about each other and truly want to make things better, that positive attitude is a great foundation. Even if you’re nervous about counseling, willingness to try it and to look at your own behaviors honestly will go a long way. A therapist can guide you, but you as a couple have to do the heavy lifting. The good news is that if you’re reading these questions together, you’re likely both invested enough to consider getting help, and that’s a strong start.
After discussing these questions, take a step back and consider the overall picture. Did many of your answers point to ongoing problems or dissatisfaction? If so, it might be time to reach out to a professional. Remember, seeking couples therapy isn’t an admission of failure – it’s a sign of commitment. It says, “We care about this relationship enough to work on it.”
Couples often tell us that they wish they had started therapy sooner, instead of waiting until things were really bad. In fact, research has found that on average, couples wait about six years of being unhappy before getting help . That’s a long time to struggle. You don’t have to wait that long or let things deteriorate further. Getting guidance early can prevent a lot of pain and help you build the skills to handle future challenges together.
Moving Forward
If you and your partner in Murfreesboro have realized that you could use some outside support, consider contacting a local couples counselor. At Clarity Therapy, we offer couples therapy for Murfreesboro partners in a warm, non-judgmental environment. Whether you’re dealing with constant fights, drifting apart, or just want to strengthen your bond, we’re here to help you reconnect and find solutions. Every relationship goes through ups and downs – there’s no shame in asking for help to make the “downs” a little easier to overcome.
To get started or learn more, you can reach out via our www.ClarityTherapy.com. We’d be happy to answer your questions about the counseling process. Taking that first step might feel daunting, but it could be the best thing you do for your relationship. And as always, if your relationship issues have led to a crisis or you fear for your or your partner’s immediate well-being, call 988 right away for emergency mental health support. Your safety and peace of mind come first.
Working through challenges with professional help can bring you closer together and pave the way for a happier future. Whatever you decide, know that caring for your relationship is a journey – and asking these questions is a brave and loving step in the right direction.